"With the dawn of redeeming grace..."

In response to the Christmas Day murder-suicide tragedy in Grapevine, TX, I went downtown to give folks a listening ear. Some wanted to vent, others shook off Christmas blues, and some just wondered why? Most agreed that Christmas, Grapevine, and mass murder do not belong in the same sentence, much less upon the land and in the media. Grapevine is a town that celebrates its identity as the Christmas Capital of Texas. The Christmas spirit is tangible here 365 days a year, so... the region prospers. In a nation that has disconnected with heritage the Founding Fathers entrusted to us, it has become taboo to wish a Merry Christmas. And yet 78% of Americans define themselves as Christians. Texans know who they are. Grapevine defined itself by the celebration of the One who is love. The spilling of blood by a man in a costume does not redefine a community. And the people have spoken. May their echo be heard.

Playing tug-o-war

Ever protested, “I was too listening…I heard every word you said!” Then proved you were right by repeating the last five words spoken?

Universally, everyone wants to be heard, because everyone has a story to tell. It’s satisfying to tell your story. It’s even more satisfying, when the listener is genuinely interested.

Remember playing tug-o-war as a kid? The harder you pulled on the rope, the harder the other kid pulled until someone ended up in the mud. The battle was usually decided by who was bigger and which party had their heels dug in the deepest.

When you insist on your point of view in a conversation, you and the other person become opponents, pulling farther apart. The rope is the relationship. Too much pulling snaps the rope. The power rests in your hands. When the speaker realizes that you dropped the tug-o-war rope, the focus shifts back onto him/her and off the struggle of who is right or who gets the stage.

The object of effective communication is to draw near to one another in relationship for whatever you want to accomplish. Listening is the tool that will help you establish relationship. Relationship is critical to building successful businesses that thrive in any economic environment.

On the issue of whether or not you were listening, the speaker is the judge. You may be trying, but if the speaker says, “You aren’t listening to me”, you missed it somewhere. This is not the time to argue or protest. This is the time to put your ego aside, focus on the other person, and find out something new. Agreeing that you missed it will shock most people and shift you into that golden zone of being genuine. Get curious, be genuine, and connect for success.

Then it is your turn to be heard.